"Langkawi was a small fishing village until 1987," our cabbie explained to us on our way to the sky lift, "and that's when they started to come." He was, of course, pointing at a resort alongside the narrow strip of asphalt that somehow passes as an international airport. Despite some rather lavish resorts, Langkawi still has a small fishing village feel to it from this Gringo's standpoint. Sure, that's when you are out on the countryside where wild cattle graze alongside roadside laksa stands and rice paddies. When you head to downtown Cenang Beach, which is where we stayed, you get an idea of what he means. It’s a throwback mix of culture and consumerism, much like what I expect Myrtle Beach was like in the 50s. Well, assuming there were lots of Chinese and Indian restaurants in Myrtle Beach in the 50s. It was a peaceful scene, a mix of cultures, t-shirt stands and tourists from all over the Eastern Hemisphere. I mean, where else can you get Mexican food, served up by a Lebanese family in Malaysia, while sitting alongside Russian, Arab, Chinese and Korean patrons?
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| El Corral's Middle Eastern Cousin. Please note the star shaped rice. That's legit! |
Our hotel, the Aseania, is a throwback testimony to 80s opulence designed for the 1992 crowd. Everything in Malaysia makes you think you are in a time warp, actually. Lots of flashing blends of blue and red lights adorn the poolside deck and swim-up bar that had no shortage of Lionel Richie and Steve Winwood ballads playing all day.
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| Dancing on the Ceiling Palace |
You see, Langkawi is the only place in the country where you can get duty-free alcohol. Malaysia, an Islamic nation officially, has one of the highest excise taxes on alcohol in the world. But, to their credit, they know how to bring people into the island oasis -- cheap mixed drinks, duty-free Reese's Cups, glowing hues of primary colors and "Higher Love" playing in the background serve up an intoxicating mix of retroactive romance you can find nowhere else. Ah, there was certainly love in the air ... well that and lots of screaming kids piling down the waterslides!
Our pool had a cool double slide built into the side of a
hill. It’s quite a lovely, picturesque setting. What’s missing? Those pesky
handrails leading up the top, that’s what. That would so take away from the
naturalistic setting of fiberglass rocks, especially since they are covered in
water and a bit of a slime coating for that extra-naturalistic feel. Now,
safety is important though. Once you get to the top, someone has spray painted
“No Diving” on the fiberglass rocks. Being that the pool is only 6 feet deep,
that’s a good thing. See, you don’t need government regulators to tell you when a
little common sense is necessary.
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| Read the spray painted directions, boy! No diving (jumping, however, was never mentioned) |
One of the reasons we went with the Aseania (besides the fact they have a boss hillside sign reminiscent of the Hollywood Hills version) was the fact we could actually get four people in a room.
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| Makes your 90s Paradise easier to find after drinking multiple duty-free Mai Tais. |
There's a rumor going around that a lot of the commercial aspects of Malaysia were driven by Chinese businessmen looking to invest their money outside the homeland in the early 90s. Maybe they were part of that disgruntled bunch of students who were "told to leave" Tiananmen Square and find something better to do than overthrow Communism? As you may also know, overcrowded China had a restriction on the number of births you could have (read: one) for quite some time, so I guess Chinese businessmen had a good reason to develop hotels with no more than one bed and a small couch for their only-borns for holiday. It was next to impossible to find a two-bed room which led us to our lil' sign-designated home-away-from-home-away-from-home. Maybe the Aseania was developed by an Indian investor with a bunch of kids? Of course, with Lionel Richie asking, "Is it me you're looking for?" and those aphrodisiac lights glowing on the tranquil waters of the pool, perhaps I should have sprung for the extra room for the boys (cyber-rib-nudge).
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| WTS? (Please, please, please somebody get this!) |
As it was, I rather enjoyed sleeping with Jared twice in five nights. You'd think the way he kicks in bed while asleep he could kick a football further than 23 yards. It would be nice -- as a UNC fan -- to think someone could kick the ball farther than 23 yards! Heck, I can kick the ball farther than 23 yards! Did I mention I watched the UNC-UVa game live last night from 12:30 to 4 a.m.?
Anyway, there were so many highlights. Where to begin? Parasailing seemed to be the family consensus in terms of favorites. Back home, you’d probably have to sell your
soul to make sure you have all the insurance, liability and safety precautions in place before you could even advertise for a parasailing service.
Not the case in Langkawi. In Langkawi, you need three things – a parachute, a
rope and a boat to pull both. That’s probably why we were all four able to
parasail on Wednesday for 240RM, or roughly $20 each. You go out and let the
laws of supply and demand take over. There are about four different companies
bidding for your business on one beach. They all advertise for 120RM per person. You walk
around and haggle until you get the price you want. Then, throw a life jacket
and harness on your 9 year old. A 16 year old will go up with him, sit in a
hanging swing seat with no safety harnesses and sing random songs in his ear as
he floats 100 meters above the island. Repeat three more times, and you’ve got
yourself a good day.
Probably second on the list would be the skycab lift -- 2000 meters straight up on a cable that at it's steepest point is on a 42 degree angle pitch. You get that whole “close to God” feeling when you are staring down at waterfalls and across from you is the rock facing of a mountain created millions of years ago. Behind you, the Straits of Malacca and the surrounding building shrink with each meter you climb until you finally disappear into a cloud. Your mind clears and you realize where you are in the scope of such perfect unison between natural and man-made engineering. It almost makes you forget the mind jarring 6-D experience you added to your ticket for only 19RM more – you know, the one that advertises, “sensory irritation” as one of its biggest draws. I love literal translations. They made the whole adventure so much more satisfying.
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| Jared hanging out over the ocean -- and for only RM60!!! Yay to beachside capitalism! |
Probably second on the list would be the skycab lift -- 2000 meters straight up on a cable that at it's steepest point is on a 42 degree angle pitch. You get that whole “close to God” feeling when you are staring down at waterfalls and across from you is the rock facing of a mountain created millions of years ago. Behind you, the Straits of Malacca and the surrounding building shrink with each meter you climb until you finally disappear into a cloud. Your mind clears and you realize where you are in the scope of such perfect unison between natural and man-made engineering. It almost makes you forget the mind jarring 6-D experience you added to your ticket for only 19RM more – you know, the one that advertises, “sensory irritation” as one of its biggest draws. I love literal translations. They made the whole adventure so much more satisfying.
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| Fact: At this altitude (the big leagues), fish don't fry in the kitchen, NOR do beans burn on the grill. |
One of my favorite activities was simply walking up and down the street. It could be an adventure in and of itself. In some countries it is believed that electricity can kill you. These countries are correct. In Langkawi, well, I guess you just need to be on your toes a bit more than in other places. For instance, there’s one electric junction on the main strip of road that I almost ran into about six times this week. It’s head high (that’s Gringo head high … maybe that’s the issue), and all the wires are exposed and tied together with wiring nuts. I mean, they at least use wiring nuts, right? There’s quite a lot of rain here … typically I just walked on the other side of the street from the exposed junction box when it was sprinkling. Just to be safe.
Of course, on the other side of the street there may or may
not be a plastic sewer grate covering the six foot drop along the sidewalk as
you meander your way to duty free chocolate shops or to the “Green Berret” shop
to buy some camouflage swimming trunks. There were a few people who went out of
their way to warn you – random plastic gas tanks for instance, 2x6 boards
jutting up from the hole, a random piece of particle board covering it. Put it
this way, you don’t want to walk down main street Cenang Beach texting and not
looking up. That is, unless you want to fall into an island full of sewage or
take a face full of electricity.
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| Don't stare at misspellings too long -- you may end up going all Electro in a sewage drain. |
But, if you do take the chance to walk the street, you get to meet
wonderful people like Gelato guy and Lio Izhar. Gelato guy looked like he
probably spent his whole life on Waikiki Beach before moving to Langkawi to
provide some of the best homemade gelato I’ve ever sampled. We ended up there
twice in four nights (not to be outdone by two nights of Lebanese Mexican
Enchiladas). On the second night, he looked stunned at Ethan as he put in an
order for banana and strawberry. The strawberry he understood, but Gelato guy just
couldn’t figure out the second flavor, so Ethan said again, “Banana” as plainly
as he thought he could. “Oh … Ba –nah-nah! You said, ‘Buh-NA-nuh’,” he said in
the greatest Gomer Pyle accent ever. You know how Jim Nabors would talk like
Gomer and then sing like Pavarotti? Yeah, that’s how out of place his southern
accent sounded, but he had it dead on. We all laughed pretty good at that one.
Come to find out, he was fluent in English, Bahasa Malay, Spanish and German. So, there
you have it – after eating Mexican food cooked by Lebanese people, we had
Italian Gelato served up by a Spanish speaking Malaysian guy who is married to a German woman.
I’m really starting to dig this international scene.
And, finally, there is Lio. Oh, how I do love Lio. She
manages one of the 100 or so beach adventure/package companies that line the
streets of Cenang Beach. They are all pretty much “same-same” but Lio’s
personality is what set her apart in our initial meeting. I was wearing my
“Bombers” shirt, the summer shirt for the Cedar Ridge baseball team. I didn’t
think that much about it (until Jill pointed out in the airport that it might
not be my best choice). Lio noticed immediately, too. “Please tell me you wore
that shirt on the airplane!” she announced as I walked her way. As I confirmed
her wishes, she said, “Oh, and you’re
American, too? Oh, that’s too funny! This world is too much P.C. now. You can’t
even sing ‘Baa Baa Black Sheep’ anymore and here you are wearing a shirt that
says Bomber on an airplane! You are awesome!” And, with that, a friendship was
sparked. I spoke with Lio four more times before leaving and even emailed her
once. She told me in the email not to waste my money on island hopping
snorkeling because the water was no-good. She never once – not once – did she
pressure me for business. We just talked, related and shared a belief that
maybe someday people will just be people in the eyes of all. I wish there were
someway I could repay her. Oh, I don’t know how that could ever be …
Just let her know that “American Bomber” sent you. And, tell her I’ll stop by next time I’m hanging out in Cenang Beach.
That's about it. I've spent the last two hours trying to post this as I'm watching the most spectacular electrical storm I've ever seen. Hard to believe that one of Bob Ross' happy little clouds can hold 1.21 gigiwatts of electricity. (PS: Oct. 26th was the date of the first Back to the Future movie -- 2015 is the year Doc goes to when he leaves at the end. Where did I put my hoverboard???)
