A weekend of cultural fun!

To appease those of you who were ready to jump ship from the MayberrytoMalaysia blogosphere, I come to you yet again on Sunday afternoon! So, you only had to wait about five days for this one after a two-week hiatus prior. I aim to please. And, though the Ridge folks really enjoyed that last one about similarities and differences of the two schools, the rest of you were probably bored to tears.

So, I come back to you today in a more neutral forum. We've had a lot of really cool cultural things happen in the last three days or so, and I wanted to share! These will take the form of four separate minuets, stages, acts ... whatever you want to call it.

ACT ONE -- Boy's Night

Ethan, Jared and I were needing a boys' night out. You can only take so much Jill, right? Oh, I'm just joshing ... of course we love our mom/wife figure and all, but Boy's Night is very special to us. It's a tradition that basically was born from two origins ... my absenteeism during baseball season (which, you'll remember is 14 months out of the year if you're doing it right), and Jill's former book club which took her to the far reaches of Oxford and Rawlee one Wednesday a month for about a decade. That said, Boy's Night usually involved copious amounts of food being consumed by me and the Worms, and then some type of fun activity. Since this was our first Boy's Night over here on the other side of the world, we went conservative and decided to go hit "Guardians of the Galaxy" and the local Cineplex. Simple enough, right?

Wrong. Very wrong.

First off, we don't have a car here. One cool thing about Malaysia is a locally manufactured car known as a Proton. Oddly enough, even though oil is one of the three major exports of Malaysia, Protons run on natural gas (well, it's a hybrid, but the Taxi drivers never let the tank get low enough to kick in the petrol b/c it's much, much more expensive. So, if you want to buy an export (read: any car in the world besides a Proton), you have to pay the sticker price, plus a 100% tariff tax. No, I didn't mistype that. If you want a Nissan that lists for $24,000 in Hong Kong, you're taking it off the lot new for $48,000 here. Therefore, the Lowes rely on free shuttles and taxis! Oddly enough, even though the big oil companies have convinced Congress that natural gas will blow up a car instantaneously, we are yet to see any of the 2.4 million of them in the city spontaneously combust (political aside for the day).

The free shuttle took us to the Mid Valley Mega Mall ... as appropriately named a structure as there ever has been. We estimate we probably saw about 1/10th of the mall yesterday as we tried to find the movie theatre (pronounced: "The-uh-truh" I have come to realize ... that Queen's English sure is cool). We got there about an hour and 45 minutes before the show. This would give us ample time to get tickets ... or so we thought.

The line ... and we were in the middle of it!

The 5 o'clock show was already sold out, and we were holding our breath hoping we could get one of the remaining 12 seats for the 5:30 show. You see, when you are in a "Q" (which is Malaysian for line), you need something to pass your time. So, they let you know EXACTLY how close you are to seeing Teenage Muntant Ninja Turtles instead of your intended movie. But, we made it, just in time to find out that Malaysian The-uh-truhs have assigned seats. The only ones left -- the three at the far left of the front row. But, the next available show was at 7, and the thought of "Q'ing" again terrified us. And, I wasn't about to spend my first Malaysian cinema experience watching overgrown Big 10 mascots trained by a hamster fight Shredded Cheese Man. I much rather wanted to see a raccoon and tree fight a galactic conquerer! Much higher level of verisimilitude there!

Now, for the good part. The three of us got our tickets for a combined $31RM. I'm sick and tired of you guys not utilizing your Ringitt converter I provided last month, so I'll let  you in on a secret -- just divide by 3. That's right -- three movie tickets for $10USD total. Pretty good, and then you realize that you can get a large tub of caramel popcorn for $8RM (about $2.50) and a $4RM soda (a little over a buck) -- and you'll realize just how much you're getting ripped off at the American thee-ay-turs. 

With the extra time, we decided to get some authentic Malaysian cuisine within the mall. We went to the Pancake House (where I got the Southern delicacy of Fried Chicken and Waffles), and got a dozen Krispy Kreme assorted flavor doughnuts for "take away" (Malaysian for "to go"). Though Mary was not impressed that I was from North Carolina and spent a lot of time at the original KK (Mary actually responded: "I am Mary; I'm glad to make your acquaintance -- $23.40 Ringitt, please), I will say the varieties over here are outstanding. So, a dozen assorted for about $5.50 USD.  Our choices -- Chocolate filled, PBJ and Chocolate, Custard filled Chocolate covered, Caramel Cookie, Oreo and four original glazed for good measures. Let's be honest -- you just can't get more Malaysian than that! How much did you spend for that last assorted dozen stateside? 

The movie experience was awesome. We were able to move back three rows enabling us to ogle a green Zoe Zaldana without having to move our heads (puberty is alive and well  in the Lowe Condo). Super sound system, great picture quality and the largest mall in SE Asia. Those of you who thought we were moving to a land of Tiki Huts and indigenous tribes would have gone into culture shock last night!

CULTURAL EXPERIENCE NO. 1 -- American movie, American Mall, American food.

ACT TWO -- Chinese Ghost Month Ceremony

Technically, this one happened fourth out of the four events, but for the sake of making sense, I have to explain it second. I have provided THIS LINK for you to learn more about the Chinese tradition of Ghost month. In a nutshell, the Chinese dearly departed get a bit cranky and needy about this time of year. There are about seven different traditions I've come to learn. Why the sudden interest? Well, on the way back from a "staff bonding soirée" (more on that in Act Three), we saw an older Chinese gentleman and three younger folks randomly burning things in the street adjacent to the sidewalk. Now, there are plenty of things that burn in this city -- Palm Oil plantations regularly burn stripped land and stumps to fertilize before planting the next run. This leads to a pretty hazy day from time to time around here. But, this was 11 p.m., and typically burning in the middle of the street isn't acceptable (though I fully expect a bonfire if Malaysia wins a World Badminton Title as expected!) in any circumstance. We stopped with a couple of new pals to find out what was going on -- that's what Gringos do when we are stupefied by non-White folk behavior. Sort of like one of those early scenes in "Remember the Titans," right? Anyway, they explained Ghost Month to us and explained that burning random pieces of paper in front of your home (in this case, their ridiculously nice condo) would appease the ghosts and they would grant you prosperity going forward. Since we are broke right now, and just because you want ghosts on your side, we threw a few pieces on, secured our place as the nosy Americans, and moved on.

I found out today that apparently there IS a ghost story associated with our condo -- score one for the Gringos! Way to plan accordingly (even if it were blind coincidence ... or was it? Cue Twilight Zone score now).

CULTURAL EXPERIENCE NO. 2 (or 3, technically) -- Chinese tradition, Chinese folks with an American twist.

ACT THREE --  Oat and Aboat with the Canadians, eh? 

Alright, I love some Canadians. I really, really do. They are funny ...

Wait ... is this the right Mike Myers?

They are athletic ...

Before he was famous for his daughter's good looks

They make a mean coffee and doughnut combination ...

Janice Gilreath's Summer Breakfast of Champions

I haven't even mentioned the maple syrup, wool cap toques or the fact they conceded the War of 1812 after kicking our tails for two years simply because they're just that nice. Well, apparently they send quite a gaggle of international teachers oat and aboat (that's Canadian for "out and about" if you're not bilingual like me. I also speak Scottish, Irish, New Zealand, Australian and three different types of British for those scoring at home. I'm most fluent in Westender I have come to find). So, for the intent and purpose of this blog, we are also considering Wisconsin and Minnesota as part of Canada, because, well ... just because. They kinda talk funny, too, those folks from Minn-E-Soh-tah and Wis-KAN-sin. You know what I'm talking about (nudging you in the ribs with my multi-lingual elbow). 

So, the point of all this is Canadians do neat things to raise money for Cancer awareness. Like, basically, break every one of the "do not do's" you found on your previous link to Ghost Month. See why that had to go first now? I actually do plan these things oat (sorry, I was in Canadian mode). 

First things first, Canadians set up a race for the whole school and the money goes to Cancer research. That doesn't bother Chinese ghosts to the best of my knowledge. The rest ... well, it's pretty darn funny, actually. Here are the Chinese traditions and how they were ironically stepped upon this weekend:

1. Do not go out after 7 p.m. during Ghost Month -- after the 4 p.m. race, the entirety of the racers go out and frolic amongst the shopkeepers and pub owners of an area known as Solaris around these parts. It went a long, long time. Remember when I told you we were heading home around 11 when we saw the Ghostfire? 

2. Refrain from wearing red at night -- yeah, the name of the race was the "Red Dress Hash" -- this is where lots of Canadian men wear women's dresses (usually about 7 sizes too small), run about a mile, and then wear said red dresses well past 7 p.m. I am not sure where Chinese ghosts stand on bad wigs, but there were a few of those, too. 

3. Don't turn your head if you hear your name called at night -- well, those clever Canadians must have known aboat this one! Instead of your actual names, everyone is given a nickname for the race and the post-race frivolity via the organizers' whims. For instance, Jill's given nickname was "Chicken Fried" ... I'm about 87% sure the Canadian contingency came up with this while drinking a cold beer on a Friday night. Though she wasn't wearing a pair of jeans that fit just right (I mean, it's a tropical climate for goodness sakes), it may have had more to do with her accent. An accent described as "the most American accent" our friend Owen had ever heard. And, he lived in the states for quite some time before returning Down Under! Luckily, no one called "Jill" across the way, forcing her turn her head. They just rambled on about how Southern we are. That takes us to the final act ...

Cultural Experience: Canadian runners/cross dressers, Southern US-drawl nicknames.

ACT FOUR: Rhinestone Cowboys

Have you ever seen Mickey Rooney's turn as a Japanese Man in "Breakfast at Tiffany's" by any chance? Well, if you haven't go watch it real quick-like -- fast forward to the 3 minute mark if you don't like the best scene in the movie (outside of the Moon River window scene, of course):

It's been called one of the most racially insensitive portrayals in history. And, if you're growing up in Bottom or Little Utah, it might be your only exposure to Japanese culture (other than a rare jaunt to a Japanese Steakhouse in Winston-Salem for a special occasion). Well, I'm not holding Mickey accountable, and I'm not holding the Malays accountable for their misconstrued idea of what America is. We have encountered three "American style" moments in our first month -- Belgian waffles at the mall, "America World" at the Amusement/Water Park and now the "Saloon" Bar and Restaurant at Solaris this weekend. Apparently, the only American movies Malaysians watched growing up featured either John Wayne or John Travolta wearing chaps. American World at Sunway Park featured all Wild-West themed rides with bad Travis Tritt and Toby Keith songs playing in the background. The saloon last night featured a mechanical bull. Yep ... we both rode it. We had to, apparently. Since we are from the South, the assumption amongst all the Canadians and Upper Midwest folks was that we both would ride that steel woven beast to the limit. For the record, it looked more like a yak than a bull, but we rode. And not that well. In fact, the guy who made it the full minute is from Ontario and lived in Vancouver before moving here.

As I explained to one perplexed staff member after being thrown only 15 seconds in, "Where I'm from, we milk cows, not ride them. Trust me ... you don't want to make that mistake with a bull."

Cultural experience: Uh ... somewhere in the playlist of Glen Campbell's greatest hits is all I can figure.

That's all for now. Cheery-o! G'day, mates! (There I go showing off my linguistic gifts again ...)

The more things change ...

I took a little time off -- my apologies for taking a couple of weeks to post again. I spoiled everyone by posting religiously for four weeks in a row. Well, I've just been waiting to start the new job because a lot of people have been asking me how I thought it would be different. In the spirit of learning by doing, I decided to wait until I got in the building before I made any judgements. So, I have categorized a few things as "Same" and "Different" to give you the full picture.

This will probably mean more to the folks who either work, attend or have attended the Ridge over the years. But, for those 41 people following me in Malaysia, family and friends in Mayberry and a spattering of non-CRHS friends I have made over the years, I will still try to make it entertaining.

The New Digs

MORE OF THE SAME

MY CLASSROOM
Okay, you can't make this up -- I swear the following is true. My class is not with the rest of the social studies teachers. Yep, not only is it on the other side of the building, but it's also four floors lower. So, as we've been having curriculum meetings, department meetings and the like, I've been toning the ol' calf muscles along the stairways. Watch out Andy Simmons!

And, yes, I have a kitchen in my room! I did not plan any of this. I just walked in and there was the stove top, the full sized fridge and sink. I guess I did something right in my previous life.

We don't have an "EC Department" per se, but I do share the hallway (smaller in terms of number of classrooms than the rest of the building) with our learning support teachers. I'm just a Jay Rich away from being in the Twilight Zone on the classroom front.

THE SOCIAL STUDIES DEPARTMENT
My department chair is a laid back, sandal wearing fellow with a penchant for button up, short sleeved dress shirts and slacks. Did I mention he is 6'-5"? Yes, my new department chair is the New Zealand doppelgänger of Roger Orstad. I called him "Staddy Daddy" today; he immediately said, "Colin, sit down and open up your IB textbook." Okay, I made that last part up.

There is only one female teacher on the social studies team. She is short. She is good at what she does. She teaches Geography. I am still waiting to find out if she has a pig-dog named after a branch of the military. I'm sure if she does, it will be her "boo".

COACHING
I have re-entered the realm of JV volleyball coaching. With that comes the opportunity to coach girls again. I went to my first coaching meeting today. We talked about concussions, good sportsmanship and showing good character. We were also told to have a checklist to justify player selections in case a parent challenged the choices. We only have one gym, so the schedule is crazy to accommodate all teams. I have to conduct a 7 a.m. practice once a week before school. Yes, I really do.

MOODLIN'
Yeah, I led the Moodle training this morning. No pressure there -- only been on campus for four days and I'm telling people from all over the globe that the way they are using Moodle as a resource repository isn't the best use of the Learning Management System. But, I started it off with a joke about "Ya'll" being the best thing we did to the Queen's English, turned on that famous JLowe charm, and I think it went well.

JLOWE
Yep. I already have some kids calling me this. I would have it no other way. I wonder who the first student was who was brave enough to do it and allow it to stick?

THE SUBTLE CHANGES

THE CAMPUS

I guess the first thing that makes it different is the double gate, security and the need to show a credential to get in every morning at the guard gate. People like to have their kids protected when they are dropped off in a Mercedes by "Driver" and they are dropping about $35,000USD to have them attend the school. Well, that and the monkeys that run across the security gate every morning. 

Malaysian Squirrel

It's also a K-12 campus, so professional development in some instances has been with the entire campus teaching team. I've been sitting with the elementary counselor. She's pretty fine. I'm thinking she's been flirting with me during the meetings. If I play my cards right, I think I may end up getting lucky with her. I hear she's married and has two kids though -- I'll just keep playing it close to the vest and see what happens. 

We have an outdoor cafeteria. I guess that's a smidgen different from the Ridge. Not a courtyard ... we have one of those, too. I mean the whole cafeteria is open air. There are big fans that run during lunch. And, the lunch food is AWESOME and CHEAP! I know this shocks no one if you've been reading the previous blogs. It must be some SE Asian gene or something that just allows everyone here to cook food so well. Ms. Connie and her staff are very friendly and give big ol' helpings of the main entrees. I got two today (baked chicken and chicken fried rice), and it didn't disappoint. 

CLASSES

So, I'm not an IB teacher anymore. I know -- I was just as shocked as the rest of you. But, I have two general psych courses and they are wanting me to green light IB psych for next year. I also have two World Studies (yes, I will be teaching French history). I was slated to teach Asian students about Asian history in Asia, but a fortuitous scheduling blessing worked that out for me. My one Asian Studies class aligned in the schedule with the Marketing/Media class that my new colleague did not want to teach. As I'm very similar to Don Draper in so, so many ways -- and a chance to put that little Journalism degree I keep tucked away to good use -- I jumped at the chance to switch it up!

The new Marketing/Media Teacher at MKIS (more or less)

COACHING

Baseball is gone. I am now a softball coach -- of the slow pitch variety. I haven't coached girls in slow pitch softball since my sister Cindy was a junior in high school. But, I will give it a try. I'm also coaching the boys' slow pitch middle school softball team for about 40 days in the winter. Ethan is my target recruit right now, but I may lose him to swimming. He just can't wrap his head around playing softball. Of course, if he doesn't, I'll understand. And he'll have plenty of time to think about it while sleeping out by the swimming pool every night. 

And, then theres the matter ... of ... the ... (gulp) uniforms. They are orange. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#ifeelsokiehle

I'm not quite sure if I'll be able to overcome this major obstacle. The coaching shirts are modeled after the Cincinnati Bengals' gear, so I will do my best to wear it without getting too nauseous. Other than the horrific color that brings me nightmares, I like the design.

TIME

Uh, did I mention I can leave my condo at 7:55 a.m. and be on campus by 7:59? That has been a bit convenient. I stayed back yesterday and worked on getting my room set up, organized textbooks and such, and left at 6:55. Jill was finishing up dinner and we ate at 7 p.m. So, what will I do with this new block of 40-50 minutes of non-round-trip driving to work? Well, I'm cooking again. I actually wash the dishes from time to time. I've finished three books this summer and have started a fourth (thanks, Amy K!). I have been working diligently to get new lesson plans and syllabi ready, but then I realize the biggest difference this year ...

SCHEDULE

I teach two world studies classes on "odd day" and then have 3rd block open for planning before a psych course to end the day. Then, I start "even day" the next morning with psychology again before knocking out Draper 101 2nd block. After that, I have two planning periods. Yes. I really typed that. In a two-day period, I have three blocks devoted to planning and grading. I'm still searching for the words to describe how much better that is than receiving a fake 7% raise while watching longevity walk out the back door. 

CLASSROOM

Okay, I know this was a previous section, but those were the similarities. Here are the differences. There are only 23 desks in there. I'm not sure where they will put the other 10. I mean, I can't imagine a class with less than 32 people in it. That just wouldn't make any sense. Oh, and though I do share my room with an after school activity, it will not be driver's ed. It will be a once-a-week cooking club. And, if they have the magic SEAC gene, I'm sure everything they fix in there will be amazing! I'll miss Eddie Hall's smiling face, but Ms. Rowena has promised I can hang out and help cook and sample goodies from time to time as a way of thanking me for using the room. Like it's my room ... I'm the new guy. 

Also, I do NOT have my own bathroom in the classroom. I'm not sure if I can make it without Noah coming by, but I'll adjust.  I have to use the boys' swimming locker room just down the way from my non-social studies room. It has private shower stalls which will come in handy after a 7 a.m. volleyball practice. I'm going to have to monitor the filtered water intake. The days of, "Discuss this for just a second guys while I step away" are over. Any student who has ever had me as a teacher (and Tammy Havekost) gets this. :)

That's it for now. The next time you hear from me, I'll have met up with my new students and see how things go during the hustle and bustle of the school year. I'm as excited as I've ever been. To my Ridge colleagues, the biggest difference is not having you here with me. And, that's been tough. I've enjoyed meeting new colleagues, but you can't replace family. Best of luck to you as you start the new chapter!

JLowe out!