The adventure begins!

First (and last) Asian Selfie!

So, I'm in Malaysia. Not usually the first thing out of the mouth of someone from Mount Airy, North Carolina, but nonetheless, here we are. I've decided to start a blog for a couple of reasons. First, because Lynne Gronback is going to bug me until I do, and secondly, because my favorite student of all time already has a blog, and I'm trying to keep up with her. It will be tough. It's pretty dang good. You can see it here: http://tlcombs.wordpress.com/.

We will begin our new professional careers at Mont'Kiara International School later this month. As part of Malaysian law, we have to live in the country for 1/2 a year in order to get around some tax laws or something, so we made a swing through Beulah (from this point to be known as Bottom) and Sheltontown (from this point to be known as Little Utah), cried a lot, and then spent A LOT of time in airports and international air space. 

Some things I would suggest to those about to take a 30 hour trip to the other side of the world (these all come from experience ... it is very important you pay attention. In the TOK world, this would be known as empirical knowledge ... I experienced it with my senses ... shout out to Stephen Jones and his boy, John Locke). 

1. No matter how awesome it seems to eat Srirachi infused watermelon with Chile and Lime Pineapple and, yes, a jalapeno topped sandwich prior to taking a 15 hour flight, DO NOT DO IT! I spent a significant amount of time finding my way around the airplane toilet about 5 hours in. I was dropping more bombs over the Pacific than MacArthur ever even considered. Not. Fun. 

2. If you ever get the chance to watch an angry African-American woman dole out Duty Free purchases to limited-English proficient Asian people, DO IT! That was loads of fun. I love to see cultures clash ... I guess it's the psych teacher in me. Patience, it seems, means different things to different people. This worked really well because the book I was reading on my trip ...

3. Read Baratunde Thurston's "How To Be Black" during layovers and down time on the plane. For those not familiar with his work, he is a frequent contributor to The Onion and has a great website, http://www.jackandjillpolitics.com/. His humor is only slightly funnier than Sarah Howard's wit and charm on Facebook. It's very fun to see a myriad of races seem confused to see your book of choice ... this works particularly well if you are a white, bald man in his 40s. I have come to realize the book is very important because ...

4. There are no Black people in Hong Kong. None. Zero. I felt lost without them. It's not just the basketball and jazz I missed. I have come to realize in my very short time that America would be insanely boring without Black people. For instance, there was no angry Chinese woman in Hong Kong trying to pass out Duty Free items to Black people before flying to Los Angeles. It's just not the same. Plus, I read the book before leaving because everyone said I would have to get used to being a minority. Apparently, White people are the minority here. Who knew such a thing was possible? Asia is so odd. I guess in some ways, Asia is similar to Bottom and Little Utah. UPDATE: I did see THREE people of African descent at the mall in KL yesterday. I did not call them African-Americans. You see, not all Black people live in America, so that would be a tad odd. However, I felt very confident none of them were African-Hong Kongians. 

5. Don't spend 30 hours of flight time worrying about the heat and humidity of Malaysia. If the first two days are any indication, I would STRONGLY SUGGEST that no Malaysian people ever step foot in the Southeastern United States between May and September. They will surely die once they step off the plane in Louisiana. I once sweated off 10 pounds during 8 a.m. coffee and beignets run in Nawleans in July. 

6. Be prepared to watch LOTS and LOTS and LOTS of movies as you fly to the other side of the world. My count so far ... Anchorman 2 (again ... still funny as ever), Captain America and the Winter Soldier, Monument Men (which was about as disappointing as I could ever imagine) and I tried to  watch The Grand Budapest Hotel. That leads me to ...

7. DON'T try to watch movies that require lots of thinking or have British accents while traveling 30 hours in a given time period. Ralph Fiennes (who I love) gave way to Andy Samberg (who I love more on 3 hours of upright sleep)! That Brooklyn nine-nine show or whatever is FUNNY! It has a gay black character ... something I won't get a lot of over the next two years. Sigh. I miss Black people. I wonder if any of those three African-Asians I saw at the mall yesterday were gay?

That's all for now. We're gearing up for a big 4th of July in about 19 hours. Apparently, it's very similar to the 3rd of July and the 5th of July in Malaysia. Asia is so odd. Happy Birthday, 'Murica!